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53 - Please Unsubscribe, Not SPAM

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53 - Please Unsubscribe, Not SPAM

⚜️ el Prof

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GM HEARTLAND

MONEY MONEY MONEY

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Self-Custody, Terms And Conditions Apply

GM HEARTLAND

As the subject line says, please just . Our former newsletter platform, beehiiv, withheld our audience data when they deplatformed us, so your subscription status is not something we know.

With that out of the way, we couldn't be happier to be back online jawing at you all. A lot has changed in the last year and half, but our belief that you should own your data, and in a technology that can free us from technosurveillance, has not.

Today's edition covers Y-Combinator's return to crypto (hopefuly you'all have marked yourself safe from the Scam Mans World Coin project) and the continuing proliferation of hackers world wide attempts to drain every last wallet of liquidity. Relevant given the hacked voter machines in the US, and the PHP vulnerability that's shutting sites down this week.

- el Prof, Britt, and Muhammed

MONEY MONEY MONEY

TOKENPRICE CHANGEPRICE
Solana ($SOL)+1.34%$105.27
Ripple ($XRP)-0.09%$1.33
ZCash ($ZTC)+3.40%$1,232.11
Bitcoin ($BTC)-2.04%$84,003.40

(Price changes reflect past 7 days — Not Financial Advice)

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

In May 2025 beehiiv deplatformed us. So we went dark, and touched some grass. Now we’re back, and this one comes straight from our own platform, on our own infrastructure. 

A lot happened while we were gone. Frontier AI kept eating the world, and Big Tech decided what you really need is a pet. Meta’s Muse agent is moving into smart glasses, and in December it will get its own Tamagotchi-style keychain. OpenAI answered with dots, agents that run 24/7 on their own cloud computers and rummage through your connected apps while you sleep. Cute! Fun fact: one of these companies, WIRED found, quietly shipped face-recognition code for its glasses. We’ll let you guess which.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin hit $126,210 last October, faceplanted to $57,182 by April, and is now chilling around $84K. In DC, the Senate came up 11 votes short on the CLARITY Act in September, and passage this Congress is looking unlikely. At this point, CLARITY is Congress’s version of trying to make fetch happen. We've never been insupport of their (Coinbase's) regulatory capture mission anyways.

So naturally, Y Combinator picked this moment to get excited about crypto. Its Fall 2026 Requests for Startups includes “The Best Time to Build in Crypto,” where partner Nemil Dalal admits prices are down, the hype has fizzled, and builders are bailing. YC is more optimistic than ever anyway, because “bull markets are the worst time to build.” Yep. You read that right. YC also claims regulatory clarity is finally here. For stablecoins, sure. For everything else, see above. L-O-L. And AZ16 says the term Crypto is DOA anyways, so playhaus is a data ownerhsip and licensing protocol masquerading as a Services-as-a-Software company. It's all bullshit framing anyways.

Still, they’re not wrong about the timing. Coming off the 2025 bull, the tourists have logged off and the builders are still here. Degenerates continue to make Pump.Fun the second highest grossing app in the space. Near the end of YC’s wishlist is the item that matters most to us: scalable, private blockchains. That’s like what we’re building, but if the guys in the middle continue to own YOUR data. We want rails for a Web3 future where self-sovereign data and privacy are the default, not a premium, and where you don’t have to be crypto-native to use them. 

Don’t feed your Muse after midnight.

Viva la resistance.

— Britt


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Self-Custody, Terms And Conditions Apply

Sixteen days. That's the whole gap between the Senate deciding your right to hold your own keys wasn't worth debating, and the SEC giving "self-custody" a definition in American securities law that has almost nothing to do with you.

Backing up a step. On September 15 the Senate voted 49 to 50 against opening debate on the CLARITY Act. Not against passing it. Against discussing it. Cloture needed 60 and got 49, and sitting inside that text was language affirming the right of Americans to lawfully custody and transact their own digital assets, a provision the industry fought for specifically to protect self-hosted wallets. The bill had already cleared the House 294 to 134 back in July 2025. Cynthia Lummis, its chief architect in the Senate, told reporters minutes after the tally: "I think we're done."

Then October 1 rolls around and the SEC proposes a custody framework where self-custody finally appears in federal securities law. Hold the champagne.

Here's what it actually does. Registered investment advisers and regulated funds would get a compliant path to hold client crypto, including a narrow permission to self-custody when the adviser decides no permitted custodian is available. The conditions are not loose: the adviser alone holds the keys, client assets stay segregated from the firm's own, every transfer needs sign-off from at least two authorized people, plus key safeguards, cybersecurity controls and recurring review. State trust companies also become eligible custodians, which widens the field past banks and broker-dealers for the first time. Sixteen days of public comment, then we find out this is all that survives.

Hester Peirce, who we saw in KC speaking at HDAX on the day of the vote, clarified that self-custody here means the adviser acting as custodian for client assets. Not investors directly controlling their own crypto. An SEC official added that these cases would probably be unusual anyway, maybe a freshly launched token that custodians don't support yet.

So the phrase this industry has spent two decades welding to one specific idea, that you and only you hold the keys, now carries a legal definition in the United States, and that definition is a registered intermediary holding keys for somebody else. Not your keys, not your coins, unless you're an RIA with a two-person sign-off policy, in which case they're sort of everybody's keys. Smells like regulatory capture to us.

Atkins said on September 16, the day after the vote, that the agency would act with or without Congress, and he wasn't bluffing. The tokenized securities exemption came the next day on September 17. And the terrible legal definition for self custody on October 1. Congress isn't the venue anymore. Two agencies are writing this market's rules under authority they already had, and agencies write rules for the entities they register. Advisers. Funds. Broker-dealers. Trust companies. There is no line on the SEC org chart for a guy with a Ledger and a seed phrase stamped into steel, so what it means for self custodied consumers is still vaugue.

The proposal fixes something genuinely broken: advisers who wanted crypto exposure for clients had nowhere compliant to put assets no qualified custodian would touch, so plenty of them just didn't bother offering it. Tokenized real-world assets have already blown past $34 billion this year, tokenized stocks are up more than 25x with over a million holders, and spot bitcoin ETFs pulled in around $2.65 billion in September alone. Every one of those dollars needs a custody answer, and until two weeks ago the answer was a shrug and a compliance memo.

The cost is quieter, which is how costs usually arrive. Every new path the SEC blesses runs through somebody registered, examined and bonded. The rails being legitimized are custodial rails, and the one piece of law that would have put the non-custodial model on solid legal footing lost by a single vote with no date to come back before the midterms on November 3.

So what do you actually do with this? Same thing as always. Hold your own keys, because that argument never depended on Congress agreeing with you. But stop assuming the words still mean what they used to.

- Muhammed


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