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31 – Shill-abus

31 – Shill-abus

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MONEY MONEY MONEY

min-ing:

How To Shill Crypto To Your Unsuspecting Loved Ones

Daily News for Curious Minds

Pump.NoFun

GN, Gary

GM HEARTLAND

We missed last weekend, and we’re bound to miss next, so we have a supersized edition for you today. Fitting, considering that’s what my gut will be tomorrow night.

So, with ample space for a rare moment of wholesomeness (or is it toxic positivity?) let us just say, we are truly thankful for you degens who have stuck with our shameless shilling, incomprehensible buzzwords, and lukewarm takes. Happy Turkey Day y’all.

—El Prof, Muhammed & Chad

MONEY MONEY MONEY

TOKEN

PRICE CHANGE

PRICE

Solana ($SOL)

+36.16%

$242.47

Helium ($HNT)

-2.30%

$6.64

Pyth ($PYTH)

+30.30%

$0.47

Save ($SLND)

+83.04%

$1.30

(Price changes reflect past month as of 11.27.24)

BUZZWORD OF THE WEEK

 

min-ing:

  • a new version of the cloud computing services

  • a decentralized network providing hardware and energy to operate open source data systems as a utility

  • the act of processing, and securing data using cryptography

 

How To Shill Crypto To Your Unsuspecting Loved Ones

You all read this newsletter already, so crypto experts you must be, right?

Well, there’s no better way to flex your expertise than to an unsuspecting loved one over the holiday SZN. And with Thanksgiving looming, the most valuable utility we can provide is a handy guide on how to do so.

Of course, the best approach differs depending on your audience. But fortunately, we have plenty of experience shoving our crypto takes down all sorts of throats. So without further ado, we’ve curated a shill-abus just for you, our dear degens.

  • Drunk, Boomer, TradFi Uncle: Somewhere between the second and the third whiskey, sit him down on the couch and ask what stocks he’s keeping an eye on. Let him yammer himself out about AI pick-and-shovel plays, then ask what he thinks about Bitcoin. No matter what he says, tell him nothing beats a diversified portfolio, and even Jordan Belfort recommends a minimum 5% exposure to space. He only heard Jordan Belfort and zoned out. Text him these links for tomorrow when the hangover passes.

    1. The complete guide to building a crypto portfolio

    2. What is a crypto wallet?

    3. How to buy a bitcoin?

  • Degenerate Gamer Cousin: At the end of the day, TPS (transaction time) is what matters most for consumers. (That’s why we push $SOL as hard as we do.) And there are few things a gamer hates more than lag. Yes, gamers are just degens waiting to be made, so this shouldn’t be too tall a task. Start with touting Off the Grid. Then transition seamlessly to touting $AVAX, the darling of the moment for the GameFi space, or handheld gaming token $SUI. Alternatively, simply show them the Pump.Fun homepage. Buying a memecoin is basically just a microtransaction that might actually pay off. And if it does, it’s a rush only rivaled by a Fortnite winning streak.

    1. Funding a Phantom wallet

    2. Buying a meme coin on a decentralized, solana exchange

    3. Beginners guide to Investing in crypto

  • Elite, Liberal Niece: She may be the toughest one to crack. You’ll hear that crypto has no use case, and it’s destructive to the environment. Also, the only people who use it are criminals and scammers. As readers of this newsletter, we know that’s not true, but painting a different picture is tough. Fortunately, there’s a reason we dubbed Solana the green blockchain almost exactly three years ago, and it’s still true today. Unlike the power-guzzling Bitcoin and Ethereum blockchains, Solana transaction use roughly the same amount of energy as two (2) Google searches. This makes it the perfect Trojan Horse into a conversation about information privacy and data ownership. Here’s a sample icebreaker: “Imagine if RFK Jr. didn’t have access to your Flo data.”

    1. Encrypted period tracking

    2. Case for user owned data

    3. Music NFTs & Crypto

  • Tech Illiterate Grandma: You may be SOL here. (And, no, not the $250 kind.) Unless she works in banking, it’s probably too soon. If she does, just tell her it’s new accounting technology that will make banking reconciliations easier. Then redirect her to the TradFi Uncle for secondhand recommendations.

Okay, so maybe these stereotypes don’t cover the full breadth of the human experience, and maybe they’re just characters we invented to tell the story. The point is, crypto is for everyone, and taking the time to contextualize why each should care is probably the most powerful conversation that can be had this holiday season.

—El Prof

Daily News for Curious Minds

“I stopped watching the news, so sick of the bias. Was searching for an alternative that would just tell me WHAT happened, with NO editorializing. I found it. It’s called 1440. It assumes you are smart enough to form your own opinions.”

Pump.NoFun

Memecoins have been the dominant force of the current bull cycle, and the bull cycle is booming, so it’s memecoins’ moments. And, boy, are they seizing it.

Earlier this week, Pump.fun’s livestream feature was launched — and subsequently used to broadcast violence, hardcore pornography, and at least one game of Russian Roulette. The platform quickly halted its live streaming service, but the chaotic underbelly of the memecoin movement had already been laid bare.

Of course, it has always been there. Beyond the platform’s failures, many influencers and celebrities have already been implicated in high-profile rug pulls, pumping memecoins only to abandon the projects and leave investors stranded.

On the bright side, the meme coin craze has injected significant liquidity into the market. But the hype-driven nature of meme coins has created an environment where excitement often outweighs due diligence, leaving both opportunity and risk in its wake.

Trading memecoins is a high-risk, high-reward endeavor. While their volatility can be intimidating, it also provides lucrative opportunities for those with a sound strategy. Here’s how I approach this unique and unpredictable market, broken down by market cap tiers and core principles.

Sub $1M Market Cap: High Risk, High Reward

For memecoins at this level, it’s the wild, wild west. New launches can yield extraordinary returns, but many are duds or outright scams. Volatility is extreme, and rug pulls are common. Be wary of new pairs with fresh wallets dumping after a pump. And utilizing tools like preapproval contract trackers can help traders find prelaunch opportunities and potentially ride an initial wave of hype.

$1M–$10M Market Cap: The Sweet Spot for Growth

This range offers slightly more stability, while retaining strong growth potential. To take full advantage of these projects, keep an eye on retracements at key support levels, especially in projects with aggressive price action and high volume. Liquidity-to-market-cap ratios between 2–5% are typically best, to ensure expansion while accommodating whale entries. I personally aim to hold 0.1% of a project’s supply or adjust my position size according to the market cap.

$10M–$100M Market Cap: The Growth Phase

As memecoins mature, they start attracting wider attention and larger holders. Holder growth is critical at this stage. Projects with aligned whales and influencer support are better positioned for sustained momentum. Dips may be attractive opportunities, especially when profit-taking occurs after large moves. And despite the meme moniker, some of these larger projects may actually have staying power, so it can pay off to look into the leadership and community supporting them.

$100M–$1B Market Cap: Leaders Emerge

Projects in this range are establishing themselves as market leaders. The position size strategy might not be feasible, due to rising costs. So instead, I use tools like Holderscan to analyze whale distributions and ensure alignment with growth.

Above $1B Market Cap: Patience Pays Off

Few memecoins reach this level, and those that do are usually slower movers. Life-changing multiples are rare at this stage, and diamond-handing a memecoin requires a lot of patience and a clear thesis. Focus on projects that outperform others during market corrections, as they often signal short-term strength. This range is about long-term vision and strategic trading, where discipline trumps impulsivity.

A Few More Memecoin Truisms

  • Lower market caps bring higher risks but also higher returns. Decide early on your tolerance for volatility.

  • Timing matters. Are you an early bird or a patient dip buyer?

  • Observe more, act less. Not every trade is worth taking.

  • Memecoin trading heavily depends on overall market liquidity, and bear markets dry up opportunities quickly.

  • Always check audits on Dexscreener. Avoid tokens with “mintable” or “freezable” features.

Memecoin trading is fast-paced and volatile, especially in newer projects. Learning to anticipate movements, understanding liquidity dynamics, and following market leaders can help lead you toward success. Always be mindful of the risks, adapt your strategy to the ever-changing market environment, and if a promising token is being shilled by a porn star, it might be time to look elsewhere.

—Muhammed

GN, Gary

It’s official — Gary Gensler, head of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), is stepping down on January 20th. When facing surefire execution, some czars stand on business, and some flee to Siberia. Word on the street is President-elect Donald Trump is eyeing George W. Bush’s SEC appointee, Paul Atkins, as a replacement.

The market seems to be taking the news well. (See “Money Money Money” above.) And why shouldn’t it? The legacy of Gensler’s time at the SEC will be one of chasing and destroying value and innovation on American soil, and soiling his previous reputation as an advocate for the space. The FTX collapse occurred under his watchful eye — and with the wink and the nod of every politician that put him in that position, who siphoned cash from the crypto cow during the last cycle, while sullying the name of the industry in the wreckage.

The Trump administration, meanwhile, is likely to be anti-CBDC, but may well support centrally-issued stablecoins, which are de facto the same thing. We could also see the federal government push cryptographic technology as a solution for voter verification. If we do down a path of centrally-authorized digital IDs — essentially social security numbers for the 21st century and beyond — I’d argue for a free market of these ID providers. Couple their issuance with the underlying management of the security of the assets themselves, so as to make the technology accessible to the everyday users that need to leverage it, without a fear of financial censorship or hacking/theft of value.

In the post-Gensler world, I expect to see consumer-oriented projects that bring retail users into the space — particularly those beyond the pump-and-dump memecoin platforms — will be granted some prime real estate to experiment and build the “solution-scape”.

I’m hoping that projects like content sharing and publishing platform LBRY — formerly heavily litigated by the Gensler-era SEC — are given more room to run. Or, perhaps, new technologies spring up to continue down the trail they blazed. My yearning for utility in the space will only continue to grow louder, because retail won’t buy our bags without it.

May 2025 be the year of delusional vibes, McDoodles cups for all, all-time highs for utilitarian tokens, a resurgence of non-PFP NFT projects, and the death of the term DAO.

There is much to give thanks for. Now let’s go smash some tryptophan.

—El Prof

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