If you’re reading this, you’re too early. The future we write about won’t be mainstream for years. But don’t worry. To hipsters and snobs like ourselves, knowing about something before everyone else is the only currency there is. And now you can add this newsletter to that list. We’ll be back next week with a whole new look and all you OGs can say y’all were HORs before it was cool. But in the meantime, the crab march toward relevancy continues, with assistance from Quentin Tarantino, binky-suckling 8-bit apes, and everything else important on the Internet.
Chad & El Prof
Markets
BITCOIN ETHEREUM CARDANO SOLANA DOGECOIN
SHIBA INU TEZOS(Price changes reflect past 24 hours as of 11.4.21 @ 4:20 PM EST.)
This does not deserve a headline.
The biggest NFT of the week came from Cyberpunk Ape Executives Genesis, a presumably AI generated name designed to appeal to every degen sensibility except for logic. We’re running out of clever ways to say ‘do better,’ but El Prof does his best.
Say what one more time.
Quentin Tarantino is a crypto bro. The highest profile speaker at NFT.NYC by far (sorry, not sorry, Gary Vee) announced his entry into the NFT game on Tuesday. He will be auctioning off 7 unseen scenes from Pulp Fiction on OpenSea as non fungible tokens, secured to the Secret Network, a privacy-first blockchain. They will inevitably sell out in seconds for ungodly amounts of money, because the Venn diagram of crypto degens and guys who yell at you for not loving Pulp Fiction is a flat circle.
The Secret Network is a relatively unsung blockchain ecosystem, claiming to be the first to offer encrypted smart contracts. In other words, the transparent ownership data that makes NFTs and blockchain transactions special is, on the Secret Network, not transparent at all. Thus, only the anonymous buyers of the scenes will ever see them, unless they decide differently.
This all feels a lot like Tarantino read our piece on the Wu-Tang album business model and decided he might as well be the one to profit from it. He’s an acclaimed and decisive director, and chances are these ‘uncut scenes’ were cut from the final cut for a reason. But nevertheless, there are about to be 7 more Tarantino-worthy MacGuffins released into the cultural consciousness — this time, the real deal.
Tarantino’s entry into crypto was inevitable, but I’m not bullish on the manner he chose. The Secret Network might sound like a plot point from one of his mid career movies, but its ‘privacy’ features inherently contradict the appeal of the blockchain in the first place. Blockchain transactions are anonymous already, but the complete transparency of interactions between anons is what opens up practical applications far beyond merchandising media properties. Imagine if corporations and elected officials were forced to publicize their wallets, and all lobbying and donating was done in the light. Crypto use cases shouldn’t start and end with celebs making bank.
That said, it checks out that Tarantino would prefer the latter, and, from a business perspective, this is witty dialogue delivered by philosophically polar and perfectly cast hitmen — i.e. a match made in heaven. Following in David Lynch’s footsteps, we’re damn near to getting the Mount Rushmore of hipster bro faves on the NFT train. (Wes Anderson, wya?) So say ‘right click save’ one more time. I dare you. I double dare you motherfucker. Say ‘right click save’ one more goddamn time.
WTH 2.0.
The price of Ethereum, the second most popular and valued cryptocurrency behind Bitcoin, hit an all time high this week. It brought with it a reopened discussion on the past and future of the token, and forced me to consider that, despite getting paid to write about it, I don’t know shit about how it works. Here’s all I found out ETH 2.0, the crypto coin version of Dr. Dre’s Detox.
A TikTok hot take to get behind.
On the other end of the logic spectrum, this guy just dropped a video explaining why capitalism incentivizes lazy workers and why wasting your employer’s time is simply acting rational. Never one to shirk a chance to hop on a soapbox and cry gaslighting, our resident capitalist, El Prof, breaks down the cool science behind this hot take.
SLOPPY SECONDS
- Paying tuition with crypto — can you get any more Ivy League?
- David Chase took a stance on the ending of The Sopranos and the last straggling sense of mystery and wonder in the world got clipped
