GN HEARTLAND |
Welp. Last week’s “bought in at the bottom” comment aged about as well as… well… “Started From the Bottom”. |
— playhaus |
TOKEN | PRICE CHANGE | PRICE |
|---|---|---|
Solana ($SOL) | -12.66% | $125.99 |
Helium ($HNT) | -10.02% | $3.02 |
Pyth ($PYTH) | -18.79% | $0.14 |
Raydium ($RAY) | -11.85% | $1.77 |
(Price changes reflect past 7 days as of 4.1.25)
It wasn’t so long ago when TradFi and DeFi seemed diametrically opposed. You wouldn’t know it, the way Wall Street’s talking now.
Fidelity, BlackRock, JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs all flipped from “scam” to stacking SATs (Satoshi’s: the smallest unit of Bitcoin), seemingly overnight.
It’s chaos, and I’m here with the tea on which big moneys are swinging biggest.
Fidelity’s Crypto Swing
Fidelity’s testing a stablecoin and an “OnChain” share on Ethereum — wild! They’ve filed for the Fidelity Treasury Digital Fund (FYHXX), all blockchain-smooth. Advisors for Fidelity are now recommending a 2-5% Bitcoin allocation for portfolios.
BlackRock’s Bitcoin Flip
BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust $IBIT ( ▲ 5.54% ) snagged 2,600 BTC in one day — $218 million! Since 2024, it’s at $60 billion. Larry Fink called Bitcoin a “scam” in 2017 — now he’s tokenizing everything with BUIDL on Ethereum, pulling $240 million week one with Ondo Finance. Fink, from hater to hodler.
JPM’s Sneaky Move
JPMorgan’s Onyx blockchain settles trades fast via Tokenized Collateral Network (TCN) with BlackRock for Barclays. Jamie Dimon trashed crypto and said they would never recommend it — all while cashing in themselves. Market manipulation at its finest!
Bank of America’s Shift
Bank of America’s CEO says they’re in if rules allow — “we’ll come hard.” They’ve got 100’s of blockchain patents, flipping from “scam” to “all in.” Noticing a theme yet?
Goldman Sachs’ Sats Grab
Goldman Sachs stuck their nose up at crypto. Now their 2025 desk slings BTC and ETH futures, plus a $500 million tokenized bond on Ethereum.
Banks Hold Your BTC
Banks can custody crypto since the OCC’s Interpretive Letter 1183 (March 2025) — BTC, stablecoins, no hoops. Trump axed SAB 121, so banks or my Ledger? My call now!
Ripple’s Comeback
Ripple’s XRP beat the SEC in 2025. Banks like Santander zip billions overseas — fast, no middleman. From sued to savior?
Bitcoin ETFs and More
Bitcoin ETFs like IBIT hauled $60 billion since 2024 — Wall Street’s gold rush! Solana’s got futures ETFs; Avalanche and Sui could follow, bank-friendly and fast.
Suits Flip, Rules Roll In
Fidelity, BlackRock, Goldman — crypto’s their toy now. Banks hold BTC, Ripple zips cash around the world in seconds. FIT21 pushes CFTC control, Trump cuts red tape, but regulations? Still messy. Big money’s on my turf for better or worse.
— Branden
[NEURAL INTERRUPT] Need a mental escape pod between model training sessions? “Dungeon Crawler Carl” AIC Edition from Soundbooth Theater follows a regular dude, Carl, and his snarky, crown-wearing Persian cat Princess Donut through an alien game show dungeon—first book’s free, your crypto can wait. [END TRANSMISSION]
Web3 is moving faster than we can spin buzzword-packed sentences to describe it. So try as we might, our measly weekly newsletter cannot adequately keep you abreast of every new development in the DeFi space.
That’s why we’re introducing you to CryptoSlam.
The go-to NFT data aggregator, CryptoSlam, organizes the chaos of web3, making it useful for both humans and AI. Whether you’re a collector tracking blue-chip projects, a trader searching for the next big flip, or a creator looking to analyze market trends, CryptoSlam delivers real-time insights across multiple blockchains.
Backed by the likes of Mark Cuban, Reid Hoffman, and Yat Siu, CryptoSlam has become the industry standard for NFT analytics. It provides ultimate transparency, giving buyers and sellers the data they need to make informed decisions. NFT creators also leverage CryptoSlam’s vast user base to promote their collections, ensuring their work reaches the right audience.
For years, web3 has been missing a reliable, comprehensive data layer — one that cuts through the noise and provides clear, actionable insights. CryptoSlam is filling that gap. As NFTs evolve, so does the need for next-level transparency. And right now, CryptoSlam is setting the standard.
— Muhammed
[NEURAL INTERRUPT] Need a mental escape pod between model training sessions? “Dungeon Crawler Carl” AIC Edition from Soundbooth Theater follows a regular dude, Carl, and his snarky, crown-wearing Persian cat Princess Donut through an alien game show dungeon—first book’s free, your crypto can wait. [END TRANSMISSION]
I spent some time in Eden this morning. It wasn’t as paradisiacal as promised.
In my quest to find true art on Solana $SOL.X ( ▲ 7.18% ) — and to spotlight all marketplaces, given the decentralized nature of this emerging technology — I found myself stranded in the prestige-gated-PFP-collection-laden, last-cycle-coded wasteland that is Magic Eden.
Magic Eden caters — or rather panders — to the PFP collectoor. Now, I’m all for cute, pseudonymous JPEGs for profile pictures. Mine is literally a stoned cat in a karting helmet, so who am I to talk? But I can’t ignore pointing out that this interface is hardly showcasing the art, technology, or even the communities whose membership contracts are on sale. ME is multi-chain, they’ve got Bitcoin Runes! They have the potential to be the Phantom wallet of the NFT ecosystem on Solana, yet functionally, they’re just another OpenSea rip-off with no discernible vision.
But enough trashing the supposed NFT paradise. I’m contractually obligated to review art, so in keeping with the OG spirit of NFT PFP collections, let me wax poetic on some pixel art apes.
Solana Monkey Business DAO $MONKE.X ( ▲ 2.43% ) is truly the poor man’s Bored Ape Yacht Club $BAYC.NFT ( 0.0% ) — although it’ll still take $2,000 – $3,000 USDC to get you in on the floor. The project bills itself as the first NFT DAO on Solana, and admittedly has boasted a fervent community for almost 4 years now. (I started following them last cycle before the FTX implosion. They do the normal DAO stuff: loosely supporting and funding projects from holders in their community who’ve hung around participating. We happen to know a few local holders here in KC.)
One of the missed opportunities that I just see as such obvious low hanging fruit is onboarding small business owners (SMBs) to leverage Solana’s amazing payment rail system and process USDC transactions via a PoS system. I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be off-brand for a collection called Monkey Business. But I digress. You’d just think community builders with a vision of Solana adoption would want to onboard the fiat masses with such an easy, impactful MVP. Especially when merchants routinely complain about card processing fees. But I’m not a product engineer or anything…
Anyway, if you want to see an NFT platform with vision, checkout Ovation. They’re the all-in-one app for your NFTs and community — like Magic Eden, they’re also multi-chain, but they foster connections between holders.
Muhammed will likely spotlight the project here in the next few weeks. While we first and foremost celebrate its decentralized nature, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention it’s being built right here, in Heartland, USA.
— El Prof
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